Thick Walls, Thin Dividers
by SpiritOfTheStaircase
Summary: In which Kurt and Blaine are kinky bastards, Rachel is turned on and Finn just wants to get laid. And wishes the basement had thicker walls. Rated T for suggestive themes and language. Now a three-shot in progress!
1. In Which Finn Just Wants to Sleep

**I got the idea for this fic from another fic that I read for another fandom and pairing, but this has a lot of my own elements in it. It is set sometime after The First Time, but before Finn's proposal and after Kurt and Rachel make up. If that makes any sense. And before you read this, let it be on the record that I do not ship Finchel. At all. But they were necessary for my writerly purposes, so I had to grit my teeth and write them. I also do not like canon!Finn, so that might show up in my writing.**

**Thank you to ninjadoodles for betaing/ yelling at me to write. Go read her stuff, it's secret agenty awesome stuff.**

**Also, if you, you know, have a tumblr, I'd really appreciate if you followed me. I follow back (hint, hint)! Just go to www . adorkabledarren . tumblr . com and take out the spaces.**

**Disclaimer: I don't even own this shitty computer I'm using to write this fic and you honestly expect me to be able to own a TV show?**

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Finn knew he shouldn't be doing this. If his mother or Burt caught Rachel in his room, the punishment the both of them would get would make what the average criminal received sound desirable. At the very minimum, he would be grounded from now until graduation with his phone, laptop and video games confiscated and Rachel's dads wouldn't let their daughter within a hundred feet of him. But he thought the reward would be worth it, for between Glee club practice, football games, booty camp, and Rachel's million and one other clubs, when else were they supposed to get time alone? They were teenagers, and rules were made to be broken after all.

It hadn't really been very hard getting Rachel into his room. Her dads were out of town for the week on a cruise for their honeymoon and since Finn's bedroom was in the basement, it was doubtful that his parents would hear them. He had pulled many successful all-nighters playing video games with the volume on and not a complaint from either of them, so they should be able to sleep through this. Kurt might, after all, his bedroom was right next door, but he was also a pretty heavy sleeper and Finn was reasonably confident on their ability to stay quiet. And in the worst case scenario where Kurt ended up hearing them, Rachel was his best friend and wasn't it against the bro code, or whatever their equivalent for it was, to rat on the other?

Finn closed the door after ushering Rachel into the pigsty that was his room. And when he said pigsty, he meant it. Dirty clothes were strewn across the floor, emitting a rather funky smell that his mother had tried (and failed) to cover up with air freshener. Video game controllers and other paraphernalia related to his games dangled precariously off every available surface and an almost invisible stack of books that his relatives insisted on giving the jock every Christmas was being used as a makeshift sort of table for his TV. To put it simply, his room was a complete mess.

Well, at least the bed was clean enough. After all, that was the only necessary piece of furniture for what Finn hoped would be the night's activities.

"You're sure your parents won't catch us?" asked Rachel. She looked up at him with a nervous expression on her face and was biting her bottom lip like she always did when she wasn't sure about something.

"We'll be fine babe," reassured her boyfriend, pulling her into a kiss.

Rachel pulled away, her brow still creased. "And you're confident that Kurt won't wake up?"

Finn fought the urge to roll his eyes at his girlfriend's worries. "I'm sure."

Rachel reconnected their lips and pretty soon Finn was thinking about the mailman and hoping that his trusty trick wouldn't fail him at a time like this. Just because Rachel had given her virginity to him a couple weeks ago didn't mean that sex was guaranteed for the taller teen. She was fickle like that, almost as fickle as Quinn when it came to that area.

Finn didn't know at what point they had gotten to the position they were currently in, with him lying on his back on his bed and Rachel draped at a diagonal across his body. He was just about to (hopefully) round second base when a loud interruption from outside destroyed his plans. The interruption came in the form of a loud thud that seemed to have no natural cause and right away instilled panic in the two teenagers. Rachel, who was more prone to worrying out of the two, sprang away from him and frantically began fixing her hair and clothes.

"What was that?" whispered Finn, flipping through every horror movie he'd ever seen in his mind. He was sure there was one were the hero got cockblocked by- zombies? Vampires? Serial killers? He couldn't remember which, but all three could be killed in similar ways, so he went back and tried to use his library of knowledge about the many horror movies he had seen to try and piece together an attack plan. It was only until after he'd planned out his plan down to the most minor detail that he realized the thud had come from Kurt's room, not the hallway as he had previously thought.

"Hold on," Finn muttered, not sure anymore that his zombie theory was very valid. He held his breath, not daring to disturb anything while his ears pricked for another sound. All of a sudden, a loud moan permeated the thin divider between his and Kurt's rooms. A moan that was distinctly _not_ Kurt's.

Well. Okay then. This was... unexpected.

"Oh my God." Rachel's eyes were round with disbelief as it hit her what was going on in that neighboring bedroom. "Blaine is over there, with Kurt, and they're doing- damn that's hot."

Finn didn't know what surprised him more: the fact that Rachel had just cursed , something that in the three years he had known her, he had only heard her do about five times, or the fact that she found... that, hot. It was his little brother and her best friend for God's sake!

Okay, so maybe so Kurt was three months older than him. It didn't mean Finn was any less protective of him.

Another thump was heard and a load curse followed it, this time a curse obviously distinguishable as Kurt's voice. The crinkling of a wrapper being opened could be heard and Finn almost choked. This was not happening. His little brother was not about to get laid before him. Or get laid at all. He refused to let that happen.

Well, okay, there wasn't much he could do for the latter. He had seen far more of Kurt and Blaine's relationship than any normal human being should have to see. And that was just limited to them making out. The sight of the two boys doing any more might cause him to pass out. Again.*****

Finn could however, do something about the first thing. Fighting fire with fire and all that. He turned to his girlfriend, hoping she was feeling the same way he did and be able to retaliate by making out and/ or having sex that was just as loud, if not louder than Kurt and Blaine's. He hoped she felt the same, with Kurt being her best friend and all. Finn knew that he would feel as awkward as he was feeling at the moment if he heard Puck having sex with- well, whoever was his conquest of the week. The average sane person might be a little curious as to why Finn was ignoring the fact that their parents were just two stories up, but he did not come up with the best ideas while in awkward situations. At all.

That was his new plan, at least until he saw Rachel. His usually modest (Santana preferred prudish) girlfriend was now staring at the divider between the two rooms in a trace and unless Finn was mistaken, her hand was drifting under the hem of her skirt.

"Um, Rachel," he said, unsure what to do about her behavior. "What-"

"Shh," she interrupted, holding one hand up to quiet him when Kurt let out a scream in the other room. "This is just- wow. I'm pretty sure Kurt just hit a high F. His voice has certainly improved since sophomore year. I can't decide if I'm aroused or jealous. Or both."

Rachel's statement, which had been said in a tone of voice that one might use to discuss the weather, left Finn speechless. Not that there was much need for talking right now. Kurt and Blaine's breathy whimpers and moans did an excellent job of filling the silence.

But what left Finn reeling the most was, again, how she found this whole thing hot. It was just miles beyond his comprehension. Rachel was supposed to find _him_ arousing, not his brother, who also happened to be her best friend, and his brother's boyfriend.

As these thoughts ran through Finn's head, Blaine had moved on from the whimpering and was revealing that the whole dapper persona hid his knowledge of a rather colorful and extensive vocabulary. "Fuuuck, Kurt, right there, please, right there!" he screamed through the thin wall. Finn just buried his head in his hands and wished he was anywhere but there at the moment. He was getting more uncomfortable than he thought was humanly possible, while next to him, Rachel was getting uncomfortable for entirely different reasons. Reasons that had everything to do with what sounded like the headboard being banged against the wall.

"You like that, don't you?" growled Kurt, emphasizing his statement with a sharp smack to- okay, wow, Finn was _so_not going there. This was already awkward enough without his mind elaborating on the events taking place next door. But if Kurt's voice had previously gone higher than either of them though it could go, it was now going deeper than Finn or Rachel thought.

_This isn't happening to me_, thought Finn desperately, all but rocking back and forth to keep from going into shock. Next to him, Rachel no longer showed any signs of even acknowledging her boyfriend's presence, fully enraptured in what sounded like a sex tape for a porn website being filmed in the connecting bedroom. If Finn didn't know her any better, he would think she was seconds away from walking next door and asking them if she could join in. She wouldn't do that- would she?

A loud, wailing sound that seemed to almost shake the walls and made him wonder how the hell their parents were not waking up interrupted Finn's thoughts from going any farther. It sounded as if a puppy were being murdered in the most delightful and delicious way possible.

"I envy Blaine," whimpered Rachel, her large brown eyes opened wide and unblinking. If she had had laser vision, or could burn through walls, they would have been able to view the show, not just hear it.

Oh would you look at that, it looked like Blaine had reached his climax. Once again, Finn wished he were somewhere, anywhere else but here. The moon, math class, anywhere. His night's plans had been thrown out the window and his brother was getting more than it looked like he would be getting. Fan-fucking-tastic.

At last, Finn decided to settled back onto his bed and cover his head with a pillow. It was unlikely that Rachel would realize he was still there any time soon, so he settled for trying to block out his ears for however long it would take Kurt and Blaine to go to sleep.

"Oh yeah, Blaine baby, right there!"

It was going to be a long night.

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***- Shameless self promoting of my other one-shots. Sad, I know.**

**My parents actually yelled at me to keep the music down in my room while I was writing this. Apparently Kurt and Finn aren't the only ones with thin walls…**

**I like to call this one-shot literal third person borderline smut. As in, it is from the view of a third person in a separate room, instead of the view of the participants. Yeah...**

**If this gets enough reviews/ favorites/ other stuff, I might be persuaded to write a follow up chapter for the morning after. I have a few ideas floating around my head.**


	2. In Which Kurt Doesn't Care

**So, I have decided on continuing this (duh). It was going to be a two-shot, but then after a lovely review from ChrisColferLovesYouBack, I got inspiration to make this a three-shot, so keep an eye for that. This was made possible by my lack of a life. I would have posted this earlier, but with school finishing up and all, I didn't have much time.**

**Thank you to each and every lovely reviewer. You guys are amazing. And of course, thank you to ninjadoodles for being the best beta/ weird person who puts up with my antics, for helping with advice and everything else.**

**Disclaimer: Oh yes, I _totally_ own Glee. I bought it after coming back from tea with the Queen of England and meeting with Voldemort to discuss our new plan for world domination. Note my blatant use of sarcasm here.**

Finn wasn't sure at what time Kurt and Blaine finally quieted down and he was able to sneak Rachel out the back door. The tiny diva had stayed in that weird, trance-like state watching the thin divider between the two rooms without so much as blinking. It was only when their free porn audio hit the off button that she realized he had been in the room all the time. To her credit, Rachel didn't even blush, she just shrugged it off as if to say "well, what can you do about it?" On the bright side (the only bright side of this damn night in Finn's opinion), he did at least get a good night kiss. In retrospect, it was kind of sad that he considered a simple kiss- a kiss that lacked tongue on top of it- a good thing when Finn had been expecting, well, a lot more.

The tall teen stumbled into the kitchen for breakfast around seven, blearily rubbing sleep out of his eyes. He looked no further than the plate of pancakes and bacon that his mother set down in front of him and just started shoveling food in his mouth. Carole wasn't sure if there was any chewing of food going on, or if Finn was just shoving food in there at rates that would astonish even the top food-eating champions.

"'Fanks Ma," mumbled Finn through a mouthful (or half) of his second pancake.

"You're welcome sweetie," she replied, rolling her eyes at her son's apparent inability to stop eating. "Blaine, would you pass the syrup please?"

The half-chewed (oh so he _did_ chew his food) mouthful of pancake, syrup and bacon was promptly spit out at his mother's words. Blaine, who had been sitting unnoticed at the other side of the table, ignored Finn and instead just passed the bottle of blueberry syrup to Carole.

"Wha- Blaine? What is he- what is he doing here?" Saying Finn was confused would be a complete understatement. There was no adjective in the entire English dictionary that described the bewilderment, confusion, and even slight panic. He had assumed that Kurt, like him with Rachel, had sneaked Blaine in without their parents' permission. But here was Blaine, chatting amicably with Carole as if nothing out of the ordinary was going on.

"Blaine spent the night here," said Burt, who was sitting on the other side of the kitchen counter. "You must have been too busy with your video games last night to notice."

"B-but, with Kurt? In the same _room_. But when Rachel-"

"Honey," cut off Carole. "Kurt and Blaine have been together for almost nine months without breaking up. You and Rachel on the other hand have one of the most unstable relationship I have ever seen. We just don't trust you as much."

"B-but," blubbered Finn again. "In the same room?"

At that exact moment, Kurt chose to stumble into the kitchen, his sweatpants low on his hips and his hair mussed from sleep (or sex).

"Morning," he mumbled, dropping a kiss on Blaine's head. "Whatcha guys talking about?"

"Nothing important," reassured Carole. "Here, have some pancakes."

Kurt shrugged and grabbed the plate of food she had set in front of him. "This is turkey bacon, right?" he asked, eying the offending object in front of him.

"Of course sweetie," said Carole, rolling her eyes. "I wouldn't serve anything too unhealthy to your father."

Kurt relented at her words and with the help of his fork, started stabbing at his plate. The silence that followed was one that everyone found comfortable and not at all awkward, everyone except for Finn that is. The latter was barely picking at his pancakes, a radical change from his manners earlier. He just could not believe how normal Kurt and Blaine were acting, another radical change from earlier. The Finn from twenty four hours earlier would have never thought that the couple in front of him was capable of the previous night's events. The current Kurt and Blaine were acting like thy had always acted, innocent and cotton candy sweet.

"Well, I should be headed off to work," declared Carole, sticking her plate and silverware into the dishwasher. "Burt, you should be headed to that meeting today, don't take too long to finish up." She dropped kisses on each boy's head (including Blaine's forehead). "Have fun at school boys."

She headed out the kitchen door and not five minutes later, Burt followed. It was now only the three teenagers left in the kitchen and the palpable awkwardness was reaching unbearable levels. Finn kept sneaking glances at the other two teens, as if he was expecting the people from last night to suddenly make a reappearance.

Another ten minutes passed and Blaine announced he was going back upstairs to get ready for school. An unconscious part of Finn's brain snarkily noted that Blaine had a slight limp, which immediately brought forth all the knowledge Puck had dumped on him over the years about the, ah, intricacies of gay sex. This brought back still-fresh memories of the previous night and Finn let out a slight shudder.

It was now just Kurt and Finn sitting at the kitchen counter, and Finn felt as if he might just explode from all the tension. Kurt clearly picked up on this fact, for after only a minute or so of this, he asked testily, "Is something wrong Finn?"

Finn, startled, jumped at Kurt's voice. "N-no," he managed to stammer out.

Kurt arched an eyebrow. "I'm not stupid Finn. Something is obviously up with you and it won't do you any good to keep it all stoppered up."

Finn mumbled unintelligibly under his breath, which earned him one of Kurt's famous bitch-please looks. Not being someone who thrived under pressure, he finally burst. "I heard you and Blaine last night!"

Most people would have at least had the decency to look embarrassed at this. Not Kurt. He just raised his eyebrow again and said, "So?"

Finn was baffled at his step-brother's nonchalance. He expected the usually self-conscious teen to have reacted a little more than this careless indifference. "B-but, you guys were- you were-"

"Finn, I am very aware as to what me and my boyfriend were doing last night. It was also, if I recall, what you and Rachel were about to do, if not more unsatisfyingly. I felt that Rachel might appreciate a little, ah, how shall I out it? A little show as to what she's missing out in her sex life with you."

"W-what? Rachel is totally satisfied with sex with me!"

Kurt rolled his eyes at that. "You forget that I am her best friend, and main confidante. Your girlfriend doesn't seem to be as honest with you in bed as you think she is." At Finn's confused look, Kurt sighed and decided to clarify what he meant. "If you had ever watched When Harry Met Sally, you would know that women are perfectly able to fake an orgasm and make it sound very realistic. And please close your mouth dear brother. Gaping fish is never an attractive look for anyone."

And with that, Kurt sauntered out of the room feeling very satisfied (unlike Rachel) with himself.

**I'm not sure when the next (and final) chapter will be posted. I'm going to Costa Rica with my parents for two weeks on Saturday, so I don't know if I'll be able to update. I'll do my best to have it out as soon as possible, but no promises.**

**My tumblr is adorkabledarren . tumblr . com **


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